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Episode #67: What Do You Want To Be Known For

bonnie lyman
In thinking about who you want to be or become have you ever thought about what you would like to be known for? The idea for this episode came to me while watching the Masters Golf tournament on TV last weekend. A golfer was teeing off and I asked my husband who it was and why did I recognize him and not remember his name. His reply was "HE IS KNOWN FOR BEING DISHONEST." That made me start thinking. What am I known for and is that what I want to be known for? We can't control others thoughts and feelings but we can control how we feel about ourselves. We have the capacity to become who we want to be known for. Listen to this episode for the benefits of becoming that person.

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Episode 67 What Do You Want To Be Known For Welcome to the podcast. Loving on purpose. I'm your host, Bonine Lyman. If you're having trouble navigating through your relationships with your adult Children, if you are struggling to connect with them or having specific challenges, you're in the right place, you're listening to Bonnie Lyman. This is episode 67. What do you want to be known for? Hello, everyone. Welcome back. Hope your spring is going quite well. Had a nice sunny day today. I know it's my thoughts that create my feeling, but that sunshine. I don't know. It does something for me, but I want to thank you for joining me today. Thanks for letting me be a part of your navigation of figuring out how to love on purpose, your adult Children. Did you ever give the thought to? It's possible they are trying to figure out how to love you more intentionally that they're working on. Exactly the same thing you are just wondering, give it some thought. So what I want to talk to you today about is what do you want to be known for and why it's a benefit to be able to identify this. It all kind of started when I was sitting and watching the masters golf tournament in Augusta, Georgia. That is a big thing at our house. My husband loves golf. I love that. He has a passion. I love that. I've can take some interest in it and know some of these men that are playing golf and a little bit about the golf that, that creates a connection between us. But anyway, this fellow, this golfer came on that. I kind of remembered him. I couldn't remember his name. And my husband told me I won't mention his name. And then I said, so what, what is it about him that I'm trying to remember, I knew that there was something just a little bit different. That kind of stood out. And his answer was he is known for being dishonest. And I thought, oh my goodness. And that really struck a chord with me. And that was really the reason that I'm talking about this. What do we want to be known for? Now, there was another golfer there. And my husband said that man is known for being just a really good guy. He's a good father. He is a good husband. He's just known for being a really good guy. And then I will mention this person because he's my favorite golfer is Tony Fea. And he is known for being a great family man, not just a great family man, because I'm sure this other golfer that I mentioned was also but that his family, he puts his family first. And then there was another golfer who is renowned and a really good golfer. And he is known for being a really good golfer and that's what people like to think of him. But he was also known for not being real generous and polite to the public in saying giving autographs to young people that were he was their mentor, but all of these men, they're all after the same goal. Yes. Would they like to be known for being the number one golfer in the world? Yeah, they would, you gotta have that competitive nature if you're going to be a golfer and try to support yourself and make some money. But really, I think they would favor being known for these other characteristics that are a little more endearing becoming that person we want to become because it makes us feel good. There was a woman and I maybe mentioned her before. That was a good friend of our family's and her name was Mary mccain and she was known for that. She could make you feel that you were her favorite person that she knew and it was just the way she acted toward other people and the things she said. And yet it wasn't like she was known for having favorites. She was known for having the ability to make you feel like you were her favorite. So what do you want to be known? For and I'm not necessarily thinking of maybe a Sunday school answer, but I bet it eventually gets back to a Christ like characteristic in some way. Do you want to be known that you were always kind? Do you want to be known that you were the fun person or you were the humorous person or maybe you were the self confident person or do you want to be known for that you were teachable or that you were slow to anger or maybe clever or maybe that you are always so compassionate. I had a discussion with my husband once and I said to him, I'm so sorry that I'm not as sweet as this one friend that we had. She was always so sweet and so kind and I wasn't that way and I feel like the greatest compliment he's ever given to me. He said, oh no, I am glad that you are full of piss and vinegar. Now, I don't know if that's really what I want to be known for. That's kind of who I was. I kind of have a little rasty side to me a little bit irreverent. I say sometimes, but I see it is that makes me kind of fun and not stodgy. But if you don't wanna be that way, that's totally fine. And that's really when I die, it's not really what I want to be remembered for, but you make up your own enduring label of what do you want to be known for? So the question you need to ask yourself is who do you want to be? We're not human beings and we're not human doings. We are humans becoming. It's not who you think you should be. It's not who your adult child thinks you should be. But what do you really, really, really want to be known for that? You were always there for others that you were trusted that you could be counted on that. You, you didn't gossip that you were just a good person. Most millionaires don't want to be known for being millionaires. I have a fellow coach colleague and her name is Rachel Hart. And once a year we have a coaches conference and people are recognized for if they made a million dollars within the year. And last year when I went, Rachel was recognized for that. And as she was given her award, she broke down in tears and said, I just want to be known that I'm still me. In other words, the money hadn't changed her to be prideful or any less kind. And she didn't want to be known for having made a million dollars. She wanted to be known for just being how she was before she made her million dollars. We had a good friend by the name of Don Lynn that passed away at an early age of, I believe he was about 59 and he had the most incredible memorial service. And one of his daughters got up and spoke. In fact, each of her, each of his Children did, which made it even more personal and more touching. And she said my dad was just a good man and she said, when I get married, I just want to marry a good man. So again, I ask you, what do you want to be known for? And then what needs to be done to become that person? It's often not what we say, but it's what we do and how we act that we are known four, whatever thought comes to somebody's mind. And so we can profess to believe in all sorts of good Christlike attributes. But if we don't act upon those, if we aren't becoming the person, we want to be, if we aren't acting and taking action on becoming the person we want to be known for, we're gonna be known for the other actions and the other things that we do. So I started analyzing myself. What do I want to be known for? What do I want to be known for by my kids, my friends and my husband. And I want it to all be the same thing. I want to be known that I was a good person and that I was a, I loved people and maybe I could get a little more detail, give a few more things that I was known for that I handled my challenge as well as when I went through some difficult things with my Children or when I was diagnosed with cancer, I want to be known that I love people more than anything else. My husband has known that for liking to be alone and that's ok. But I'm kind of known for, I love being in a crowd of people. I like being known by my husband that I'm full of piss and vinegar that just kind of brings a smile to my face that maybe I wasn't known for being rigid. I want to be known for being confident, but also being humble. I really, really want to be known that I could love people that were difficult to love and I really want to be known for that. I did my best to follow Jesus Christ. Elder Holland made a statement, I'm gonna share with you and it's kind of a little bit not quite directly related to what he wanted to be known for, but it was kind of what he wanted the savior to think about him. And I think we could combine those two. Jeffrey R. Holland is an apostle in my church, the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. And to you that aren't members of my church that just means that he works full time for my church in trying to get more people to come unto Christ and to live happier lives. But this is what he says when the savior comes, I so want to be caught living the gospel. I want to be surprised right? In the act of spreading the faith and doing something good. I want the savior to say to me, Jeffrey, I recognize you not by your title, but by your life, the way you are trying to live and the standards you are trying to defend. I see the integrity of your heart. I know you have tried to make good things better, first and foremost, by being better yourself and then by declaring my word and defending my gospel to others in the most compassionate way you could, I know you weren't always successful. He certainly will say with your own sins or the circumstances of others.But I believe you honestly tried, I believe in your heart, you truly loved me. And I just, that's one of my all time favorite quotes to think about going before the savior and this idea of what do I want to be known for. And of course, I, I care about what the savior thinks about me. You first have to believe that you were born to become the person that you want to become. You have the capacity, you were born with the capacity within you to become that person. And you have to believe it hard and you have to see yourself as being that person. What does that person do and what do they not do by doing this? You will get little glimpses of what needs to be tweaked in your life. I think most of us are good people. Most of us are just about there of being who we want to be. Because when we become the person, we want to be, we like ourselves so much better and people are miserable and they treat others miserably when they don't like themselves. If you don't believe this, if you don't believe that you can become that person or that you're really almost already there, it's going to be difficult to become that person. So the benefits to you on focusing on becoming the person that you want to be known for is you will get better and better for being known of being that kind of person, your con your self confidence will grow and when your self confidence is high, it's easier to love other people and not judge them because we don't take things. So personally, you will begin to live a life that is one with no regrets. You will experience finding it easier to finding the goodness in others rather than their weaknesses. And you end up living a well lived life. One that has is speed bumps. It's gonna have its heartaches, but you're going to have those moments that feel like heaven and you are going to recognize them and you are going to be grateful for them. And so in becoming the person that you want to be known for your life becomes so much more satisfying. So I challenge you, decide what you want to be known for, believe it's already inside of you and you have the capacity to make it even more visible to others. Decide what changes do you need to make to become that person and then make a plan of what you're going to do to carry out those changes. I believe we can be any kind of person that we want to be. If we will focus on it, if we will believe that we can and if we will practice becoming that person, I hope you have a wonderful week. I hope you can learn how to love someone that's difficult to love this week. And I thank you for listening to this podcast. If you ever feel like you need more help in getting to accepting and loving, especially your adult Children that may be challenging for you. And I know some of those challenges are really difficult because I have gone through some and I still have to work all the time on changing my expectations of just what part my adult Children play in my life at this time. And I know that what they may do or say to me has nothing to do with me, becoming the person that I want to become a, becoming that person that I want to be known for. That can be one of the most satisfying goals that I can have in my life. That's all for today. I'll check back in with you next week. If you like this, be this episode and you felt it was a benefit to you. I ask you to share it with somebody that perhaps it could also benefit. But if you're still feeling kind of stuck in that you don't know how to apply what was talked about or where to start on, on changing your thoughts, on changing your perspective on bettering your relationship. Get on a call with me and we can have a discussion and I can tell you how to apply it and where we start and then you get to decide what you want to do about this relationship that maybe you're struggling with, with your adult Children. There is no reason to go on the rest of our lives struggling with our relationships with our adult Children. Let's assume the best. Let's assume that we all love each other and we're just trying to figure out how to maintain our own boundaries and respect another ones, but I can help you with everything. So just go to Bonnie Lyman dot com and book a call. I can't wait to hear from you. .

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