Hello, I'm Bonnie. We would have been best of friends if we had raised our kids together. Now, we're going to become just that. Let me tell you some things about myself.
I am a mother of 5 grown up kids. I am a convert member to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Like you, I'm learning how NOT to feel disappointed, unappreciated, and distant in my relationship with my adult children. But rather to feel love, connected, and confident. I am trying to practice maximizing my relationship with my adult children. I am no longer suffering but instead I am creating the feelings I want to feel in my relationships with them.
My desire is to love as the Savior loves. My desire is to see my children as Heavenly Father sees them and see me as He sees me…..imperfect humans just doing the best we know how; all at different levels of spiritual and emotional maturity.
When my children made some unexpected choices and awarenesses, choices and discoveries with potential eternal consequences, I had the "socks knocked off me". Just like you, I felt pain from going through these experiences with them. I hurt when my kids are hurting. But I learned that my character was being shaped to be strong, loving, and loyal to core values that couldn't be shaped in any other way. My children also learned lessons they needed to learn and this was the way they had to learn them.
I share this with you so that you can understand why I think we’d be best friends. I know what pain feels like from watching your adult children make some unexpected discoveries or choices. I know what it feels like to have a child tell you they’re gay. I know what it feels like when you have a unmarried daughter tell you they’re pregnant. I know what it feels like when you have children that have faith issues and quit going to church. I know what it feels like for a child to break their Temple covenants. I know what it feels like to feel unimportant in their lives or unappreciated or forgotten or slighted. I know this because I felt all those feelings. I know what it feels like to feel pain in relationships with grown up children.
The gift of the Atonement and the impact this gift can have in my life is the greatest knowledge I have received. I will be forever indebted to Jesus Christ. All of my values are centered in the teachings of Jesus Christ. I am who I am because of my feelings for Him.
