Coaching with LDS values

Episode 86 Thoughts for Viewing Your Life From A Positive Perspective Welcome to the podcast, loving On Purpose. I'm your host, Bonnie Lyman. If you're having trouble navigating through your relationships with your adult children, if you are struggling to connect with them or having specific challenges, you're in the right place. I am Bonnie Lyman, and you're listening to the podcast, loving On Purpose, episode 86. Thoughts for Viewing Your Life from an Optimistic Perspective. Hello everyone. I hope you're fine and dandy. It's been. Another week since I last talked to you and I have some more things to share with you. I appreciate those that come back every week and listen to my podcast. Thank you. Thank you to those of you that shared it or left a review, and I wanna welcome anyone that's listening to this podcast for the first time. You will have to go back and look through. My podcast and see if there is one that is relevant to you. The very first one kind of talks about my basis for my podcast and my coaching program, and it's, I, I believe I called it Loving on Purpose, but it's. How to love difficult adult children unconditionally is, is what I am trying to help women everywhere be able to do that they can have peace and Feel that wonderful feeling that only love has to offer. So today when I started writing these thoughts, they just kept coming and coming and so I. I want you to listen to these thoughts that I have to give you that if at any given time you could use one of these thoughts when you're struggling with. A feeling you're having that you don't like if you're having struggles loving your children just the way they are. But I keep four or five of these tucked in my pocket, I say, and. I have four or five of these that come to my mind that are my default thoughts that years ago when I didn't know that it was my thoughts that caused my feelings, that I thought it was what was happening in my life that caused me to feel a certain way. And I didn't have any control over changing the circumstances in my life, but I do have control over my thoughts and so the more that we think of thought, it becomes a belief. And so those beliefs just kind of get stuck in our brain and can really help us. Not have the despair or the resentment or the anger or the disappointment that we otherwise might have had by the type of relationship we have with our adult children. I've come to realize we get what we get. I have one child that. I haven't been the closest to, and I'm getting old enough that I don't know if it will get any better. I'm hopeful because one of my empowering thoughts is things never stay the same. But I look back and I can be grateful that I was able to spend the first 18 years of this child's life and raise them and teach them to the best of my ability and to share that experience with them that I can be grateful that. I got that opportunity in this life. So some of these thoughts are going to jump at you and stick in your mind, and some may not have much meaning at all, but I hope that they will help you. I hope that. That you can become more optimistic by hanging on tight to I. I would pick at least five of these thoughts and write 'em down if you would like a copy of these thoughts that I have written down. You can email me at Bonnie. Bonnie lyman.com and I will be glad to send you a copy. So here we go. Hang on. 'cause there's quite a few of 'em. Love always wins because you love someone. It doesn't mean you condone their actions. Things never stay the same. To be more likable, be self-confident people that are suffering hurt other people. How people treat you tells more about how they are feeling about themselves than how they are feeling about you. You can learn how to love unconditionally. By getting a dog, love is always an option. Being with like-minded people saved my life. We are either loving others or judging them. If you want to have control over your life, be willing to feel negative emotions. There are no bad feelings. Feelings are for feeling. You can't change others, but you can change your perspective about them. Being curious is a more compassionate place to hang out than being judgemental. You can become the person you want to be by managing your thoughts. Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. I am confident because I am a child of God. I am humble because I know everyone else is also I. As a man, think in his heart, so is he. We were all born worthy. Our value is not dependent upon our accomplishments. Good mental health can be acquired by paying attention to how we talk to ourselves about ourselves. Judging someone else is really about noticing our own weaknesses. To change a bad habit, decide to commit to having the integrity to yourself to follow through with your plan. Being defensive is a sure way to start an argument. You can't control your circumstances, but you can control the way you feel by managing your thoughts. We don't need to voice all our opinions. I could be wrong to make a decision. Ask yourself why you want to do what you're thinking about doing, and then ask, do you like your reason for doing it? Success comes from failing often. Love is always available. Love is always a choice. To love yourself just the way you are, wink at yourself every day. Other people don't have the power to hurt you. It's our thoughts about what we're making the circumstance mean that causes us to feel either sad or happy. God conspires in my favor. I can find something good in everyone. What we focus on determines how happy we'll be. Be willing to do the work to become a watcher of your thoughts. Be committed to being. A non-judgmental person, not just interested in becoming a non-judgmental person. Count all small acts of kindness as big wins. Count your blessings rather than your hardships. Compliment someone every day. Pray for those asking that they be comforted when they may need more comfort than you do. Forgive others for they know not what they do. We were never bad mothers because we never got up in the morning and said, I'm going to be a bad mom today. Our adult children have the right to have different values than we have because of the agency they were given, which is a God-given gift. Assume everyone is doing the best they can. Offer some act of kindness to someone every day. Want what you already have? Have fun. Find out what lights you up and go for it. Without opposition, we would all be living like robots. I was the exact mother. My kids were supposed to have, I had the exact parents I was supposed to have. Don't counsel God. Stay out of his business. Our trials are part of our journey. Some of us signed up for Calculus 3 0 1. Don't rob your children of going through their own personal hell. God is good all the time. Life is our school. Love is the lesson. There is no growth without discomfort. It's okay and normal to have a bad day. Follow your gut feeling. It's not about you. Our adult children live in a different time and have different challenges than we did at their age. There is always at least one good thing that happens every day. To love others more. Love yourself first. To love yourself more. Love others. First children raised in the most ideal environment don't necessarily, don't necessarily become the most ideal adults. There are no guarantees. Things always work out in the end. We just need to wait long enough to let it happen. I hope some of these thoughts have just tweaked your mind a little bit. To view life a little more optimistically. It's all good. It was all meant to be. And if we have the faith and trust and believe in ourselves that we are of value. There is nothing that can take our worth from us, and we have the capacity to learn how to live a well lived life by choosing to focus on what's going right. I hope you have a wonderful week, and I wish the very best to you. And I will talk to you next week. If you like this, be this episode and you felt it was of benefit to you, I ask you to share it with somebody that perhaps it could also benefit. But if you're still feeling kind of stuck in that you don't know how to apply, what was talked about or where to start on on changing your thoughts, on changing your perspective, on bettering your relationship, get on a call with me. And we can have a discussion and I can tell you how to apply it and where we start. And then you get to decide what you want to do about this relationship that maybe you're struggling with with your adult children. There is no reason to go on the rest of our lives struggling. With our relationships with our adult children, let's assume the best. Let's assume that we all love each other and we're just trying to figure out how to maintain our own boundaries and respect another ones. But I can help you with everything. So just go to bonnie lyman.com and book a call. I can't wait to hear from you. .