When our children become adults we often have many unfilled expectations. My clients often compound the situation by using the word "should" regarding what they are or are not doing.
The word "should" implies judgement and judgement never feels good in the normal sense that we use the word. The "should" thought doesn't solve the problem, rather it feeds the story of why things have gone wrong. I good place to start is catching yourself thinking the word and then changing it to want or would. "You should call me more often. ...Would you call me more often?....I want them to call me as often as they want to call". Just try seeing how long you can go without saying or thinking the word 'should"? Tune in for more insights and examples.
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