It's a gift we've all been given....well, really it's a gift we give ourselves. To choose to love someone (even if they're difficult to love or underserving of our love) is the most important gift we'll ever give ourselves.
Love is an emotion that can swell up inside us and flow into every part of our body. It causes us to want to be alive. It causes us to feel that we can overcome our challenges. It causes us go to bed each night thinking all is well, even when maybe it isn't.
Love can stay for a very long time if we desire it to, if we seek after it, and if we nourish it. All these actions begin in our brains. If we tell our brain to have loving thoughts about people, we can reprogram it to find something good in everyone. Remembering and focusing on these thoughts, cultivates the seeds of love.
We can choose hate, resentment, offensiveness, embarrassment, anger, or disappointment when someone has wronged us. Or we can choose compassion, understanding, curiosity and love about the unkind behavior. Hate, resentment. etc are feelings that we don't want to feel, where as compassion, understanding are feelings we like feeling. The other person is not hurting because you feel hurt...You feel hurt because you hurt yourself. You hurt yourself because you chose to think angry thoughts and not loving thoughts.
When your son tells you, he doesn't want you to come over to his house anymore because his spouse has requested it, you could think he's a coward; if he loved me he would have the courage to stand up to his spouse; he's being selfish and doesn't recognize that he's causing a serious rift in our relationship. OR you could be curious about why his spouse doesn't want you to come over to their house; you could admire your son's courage to "cleave unto his spouse"; or you could choose to think, "things never stay the same".... perhaps this isn't a permanent situation. Which thoughts cause you to feel forsaken? Which thoughts cause you to feel love?
More important, which thoughts cause you to be the kind of mother you want to be....? The gift of love can only be given to yourself. It never comes from someone else; it always comes from within your mind. The good news is, you can choose to feel love everyday.....just by choosing your thoughts.
And in case you didn't know, LOVE ALWAYS WINS.
Conference address by President Gordon B. Hinckley. Click HERE.
If this resonates with you, and you would like me to help you explore how it applies to you and your relationship with your adult children, email me. I offer a free 30 minute consult where I teach you how to use a simple formula that will help you to stop suffering in your relationships with your adult children.