First, a great big thank you to all my clients. I still think of each of you, hoping for the best for you and your family. You have helped me grow into a better person. Thank you.
So here are ten things I’ve learned when trying to manage my brain to create the life I want to live.
Magic happens! Things get better even when we think there is no way possible for that to happen. It happens by believing hard that everything will work out. When we believe that it will, we actually are motivated to take action to make it work.
All answers to our problems are found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We have to practice using the tools He has given to us for Him to help us live a better life.
We need guidance on how to practice using these tools. The Model teaches us how to do that if we learn and implement it. It is true that our circumstances trigger our thoughts; our thoughts cause vibrations (our feelings) in our bodies; our feels cause us to behave in a certain way; and our actions cause the result (either wanted or unwanted) in our lives. Our happenings do not cause our feelings; our thoughts about what we are making our situations mean cause us to feel a certain way.
In life, we never get everything our way. This is not a “Burger King” life; you don’t get it your way. Life is 50/50. That means there is opposition in all things. We must give and take the good and the bad. We only get it the way we want 50% of the time.
To love difficult people, especially family members, we have to put our desires aside often. Putting the desires of others ahead of your own is a Christ-like action that feels good to develop. We can then also learn to how to forgive people that don’t deserve forgiveness.
Feelings are for feeling. And yet we try to avoid feeling the negative ones. We’ll buffer with food, alcohol, drugs, or even exercise just not to feel the negative emotion. When we resist feeling a negative emotion, the emotions intensify. With guidance we can learn how to process a negative feeling. In being able to “sit with the emotion”, it helps lessen the discomfort.
Focus on approving of everything that is ethical. Approve of your neighbor when he cuts down the tree that was shading half your yard. Approve of someone coming to church with tattoos covering most of his body and smelling of pot; approve of your married son going to Thanksgiving dinner to his in-laws for third year in a row; Focus on liking everything and finding something good dto love about everyone. We will access a power to satisfaction we possibly didn’t know was available to us.
Living in the middle of the happiness spectrum is the most peaceful way to live. Living in the middle is being willing to allow yourself to feel all the negative emotions as well as the positive ones. It’s accepting life when it seems like a hot mess as well during the best of times. It’s learning to accept all the opposition and challenges we knew would come but always hoped wouldn’t. It’s accepting the Plan of Happiness as planned by a loving and merciful Heavenly Father and executed by His Son.
Celebrate the good in ourselves. Recognize what we like about ourselves. It will be easier to see the good in others if you see it in yourself first. We were born of Heavenly Parents; we were born with value and so was everyone else. There is no mistake we can make that can take away our value. It’s in our DNA.
With effort, study, and acting, we can live any kind of life, become any kind of person we want to be. It happens by believing hard that transformation can happen.
Do you need help? Are you feeling stuck in your life? Is your relationship with your adult children not what you expected? I can help you. I’m offering a free, 60 minute consult. Let's talk.