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ODE TO MOTHER'S DAY

Well, It’s here…..the second Sunday in May.  MOTHER’S DAY.

How are you feeling?  You’re favorite day of the year.

I can only imagine that you thought it was difficult when your kids were young.  To those kids it was just another Sunday. But for you it was the worst day ever.

It was the day you remembered all you the things you do every day to serve these kids to give them what they want and need. 

You remembered everything; you wanted to be recognized but they were completely unaware of all you do, or your expectations.

And then if we weren’t blaming our kids, we were blaming our husbands for not training them to do something special for mom to thank her for all she does for them.

You also found that when they became your adult children, things didn’t necessarily change.  Maybe the pain of the day was even worse.

Many don’t like Mother’s Day.  The unappreciated mothers: the women who never got to be a mother; the mothers who had a child who died; the dads married to the unhappy women; the mothers whose children never went on a mission.  Did I forget anyone?…..Oh, I’m sure I did.

It doesn’t have to happen this way.  Mother’s Day can be the best Day ever.  We just need to do three things:

  1. Understand how our minds work.  It’s amazing that this basic function was never taught to us.  It is the basis for how we manage the life we want to live (like loving Mother’s Day). We manage our lives when we manage our feelings; we manage our feelings when we manage our thoughts. We choose the thoughts we want to think.  If that’s new to do you, that might be hard to believe.  Whatever thought YOU want to choose to think about Mother’s Day is going to cause you to feel however you want to feel about Mother’s Day. If you choose the right thoughts, those thoughts will cause you to feel good feelings about the day.
  • Most adults are functioning as emotional children.  That means “they react to their emotions, act out, or avoid emotions rather than take full responsibility of CHOOSING THOUGHTS THAT WILL CREATE THE EMOTIONS THEY WANT TO EXPERIENCE”. (quote by Brooke Castillo)  As emotional adults we understand that we have a thought every time something happens or doesn’t happen and it’s that thought that causes us to have certain feeling. IT IS NOT THE GIFT; IT IS NOT THE GESTURE; IT IS NOT THE PHONE CALL OR NO PHONE CALL that causes us to feel loved; It is the thought about what you make those situations mean that make you feel loved.
  • Get rid of the “Manual”!!!  That book , (you know, the one you wrote) that has all YOUR expectations you’ve been accumulating over the years to how your Mother’s Day should look like.. You can keep it, but have you thought of letting your children and husband at least know what your expectations are?  

Our unhappiness over Mother’s Day is caused inside us.  If we change our thoughts about this day it can change the whole outcome of this day.

Here are some thoughts about Mother’s Day that might help empower you to have a wonderful one.  Just focusing on one can change your whole experience this Mother’s Day.

  • I’m so thankful I was able to be a mother.
  • Hey Guys, I would love to get a box of chocolates for Mother’s Day, not flowers.  Oh yeah, and were having Mac and Cheese for dinner.
  • It’s 5:00pm and I haven’t heard from John.  I think I’ll give him a call or text him and let him know how glad I am that I’m his mom
  • I think I’ll write a note to my son’s wife to tell her what a great job she’s doing as a mom and wife.
  • I was a great mom, not perfect, but maybe that’s why I was a great mom.
  • My kids mistakes happened because they have their free agency.
  • I am figuring out where I fit in to my adult children’s lives; they’re figuring out how to be an adult. 
  • Every child needs love in a different way; my job is to just keep on loving them until I figure it out.
  • I hope my children know I love them.

All these thoughts cause me to feel love.  Nothing trumps love; love always wins; love is always an option; love is the gift you give yourself.

Try finding how you can give the gift of love to yourself this Mother’s Day instead of waiting for someone else try to figure out how to give it to you. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all you great and wonderful moms. 

XO

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