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NOTHING HAS GONE WRONG

I can remember thinking about what my life and my childrens’ lives would be like when they became adults.

--I thought everyone would get married.

--I thought both my sons would serve missions.

--I thought my daughters would not work outside the home after they were married.

--I thought they would all be active in my church.

--I thought when they married, they would be sealed in the Temple.

--I thought my daughters would get married at a younger age than they did.

--I thought they would pretty much raise their children the way we raised them.

I can remember when only one of my sons was living by us as an adult.  When he got married, I assumed he would want to come over for dinner once a week…..just like he’d seen our good friends do with their children.  He politely told me that was too often.

What???  Why not?  He didn’t really give me an answer but inferred that was interfering with their leisure time.

If I was going to be at peace with my children could using their agency in whatsoever manner they chose, I was going to have to throw my expectation manual away; my manual of instructions of how adult children were supposed to behave.

I was going to have to change my thinking that I had been practicing for all the time I was raising them.

Five thoughts (of many) that I changed:

  1. I started getting curious as to why they were making some of their decisions instead of judging them.  I also got curious as to why I thought maybe they weren’t making the right decision. 
  • I started praying that they would be happy instead of praying they would find a spouse.
  • I began thinking that nothing had gone wrong; it was just different than I had expected.
  • I began focusing on how their choices as adults were just as good as my choices had been, if not probably better.
  • I began working on becoming a better me, more fulfilled me and began expecting them to be as “themselves” as they could be, so I could just show up a the mom I wanted to be.

Every day stuff happens.  We need to just let it happen.  Good or bad; accept it; embrace it; learn from it.

It was all supposed to happen exactly as it happened because it did.  Don’t miss out on what your personal journey is teaching you.

Do you need some help getting through that expectation pain you’re having with your adult children?  Are you not experiencing the connection with them you had hoped for?  I can help you.  Click the tab below to book a free call.

LOVE ALWAYS WINS BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO CHOOSE....

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