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Let’s just let Christmas do it’s thing and go along for the ride….lights, blown fuses, Christmas music, Christmas music, did I mention Christmas music, over idealistic movies that make us feel guilty, movies so bazaar we can’t help but chuckle, children so excited they can’t sleep, families laughing, families fighting, lonely because of no family around, crazy because there is too much around, lots of presents, no presents, cookies from neighbors you didn’t even send a card to

It’s pretty much the same every year, right?  So why do we think we can create the perfect Christmas.  

The good news is, nothing is perfect.  

Don’t want the perfect Christmas; just celebrate Christmas without expecting anything; just let Christmas be Christmas…with all its messiness and all its magic! And that’s what makes it wonderful.  Christmas can be the most wonderful time of year, if we work the magic.

Wanting everyone to be happy on Christmas (including yourself) sets you up for terminal disappointment.

That means you are setting yourself up to suffer in some way.

We are a bunch of messy humans that happen to be full of goodness and funness and beautifulness and loveabilitiness.  I believe we are all just as loving and as messy as the “next guy”.

But it changes at Christmas.  We have this expectation that Christmas should be the most “wonderful” day of the year.  Estrangeness in families should be mended; children should behave; all wrongs forgiven.  It could happen but because we are imperfect humans it never pans out that way.

What if we believed that everyone gets to be as human as they want on Christmas?  What if we were to think that everyone gets to do and feel any way they want on Christmas?  The messiness and loveliness all together.

Everyone just being themselves on Christmas.  And loving all of it because we want them to allow us to do the same.  

Christmas is a thought.  If it were a circumstance, we would all feel exactly the same about Christmas.

The good news is that we get to choose how we want to feel about Christmas.  If we choose to focus on only the parts of Christmas that make us feel the Christmas spirit, we’ll have the best Christmas ever.  That’s the magic; choosing to think about Christmas anyway you want.

Give yourself permission to feel anyway you want on Christmas….not what you should be feeling.  If you want to feel sad, feel sad.  If you want to feel lonely, feel lonely.  If you want to feel friendly, reach out to someone who needs a friend or think about good friends.  If you want to feel happy, think about what makes you happy. If you want to feel connected to family members who are not present, you can think hard about them and remember them and love them in your mind and you will feel connection.

We determine how we want to feel on Christmas; not the weather, not our children, not our spouse, not our siblings, nor anything or anyone else.  Nothing has the power to make us feel a certain way; it’s how we choose to think about Christmas that causes us to feel a certain way.

Christmas isn’t supposed to be perfect.

If it was perfect, we wouldn’t have a reason to celebrate Christmas:  The birth of the Savior, Jesus Christ, whom would redeem us from all our messiness, is why we have Christmas. It's actually his special day; not ours.  

“I give unto men weakness that they may be humble….then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”    Ether 12:27.  “for this cause came I into the world.”   John 18:37

Here are 4 steps to having a perfect un-perfect Christmas

  1.  Decide right now how you want to feel Christmas night.  Describe it using one word.
  2.  What thoughts would you have to think to create that feeling.
  3. Focus on all the things you like about Christmas and do those things.
  4. Be willing to feel negative feelings that are caused by having a perfect unperfect Christmas.

[5.  Read my last blog post, “Fixated on Having the Best Christmas Ever”.]

It is a sad happening in our world today that so many families struggle to connect with one another when children in families grow up and become adults.  I do know this….it’s hard being a human; it's hard being an adult to an adult child; it's hard being an adult child having an adult parent....most adults may think they know why they are upset with their parents or children, but really we don’t know why we feel anger. It's a transition no one ever told us about; the unawareness causes conflict and misunderstanding.

I know that relationships can mend and be whole again because of the atonement.  It is a gift the atonement offers us to be able to love people that are difficult to love and to be able to forgive people that don’t deserve forgiving. It allows us to change so that we are the catalyst (or the circumstance) that iniatiates the repairing.

This is why Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.  We get to choose how we want to celebrate this greatest of all birthdays. In celebrating His birth we celebrate His mission. We celebrate his mission because it is the healing balm to any relationship, even if it's only on your side, to love one another.

With Christ’s birth came the announcement that there is always hope; hope that things will get better.  Hope brings with it the ability to choose love.

                                  And love always wins.    And that is the magic of the universe.

If you want help learning how to use the tools I use to love those that are difficult to love, click the tab below to sign up for a free 60 minute consult.  I would love to help you connect with your adult children in a way you never dreamed possible.  I use a specialized formula called The Model to help learn how to always choose love.

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